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Script by John Sensebe
Whlist visiting some daft latexheads Dr. Phlox falls ill when the Enterprise encounters an alien race nobody should know about for another couple of centuries which is in fact not what it seems and which affects the entire ship and sends over a boarding party to battle the crew in the ship's corridors but their opponent turns out to be well-meaning and so they do something ludicrous and their opponent dies, which means everything turns out okay, and the Enterprise is saved in the nick of time. Then, finally Archer says something smug and they leave at warp factor four.
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Based on Justin B.
Rye's flowchart.